How It All Goes Down

It starts off innocently enough.

You’re a grown woman, he’s an attractive man. You’re both capable conversationalists and damn good at putting back a few after work. Just two intellectuals, nothing to prove to anyone, enjoying each other’s platonic company. He becomes another one of your girlfriends that you can vent to about work and boys, and you’re just the chick he can throw peanuts at during halftime.

It becomes a regular occurrence, this “lets meet up for a drink after work” situation. Because you both love the tequila. And each other's company. Every once in a while it spills over to dinner. Pretty soon, there’s a movie night involved. You repeatedly quote one another’s brilliant remarks when chatting with others. People start asking questions about the nature of your relationship.

Because men and women can’t just be friends.

You find yourself offended by this narrow-minded thinking, and vehemently defend your ability to separate sex and friendship. And you don’t think of him “in that way.” But in the back of one, or both, of your heads a small spark is lit.

Until that one night a few month--or even years--later when the budding curiosity wins out. You notice the crooked smile holds a certain flirtatious glint you hadn’t seen before. You counter back with one of your own. And suddenly, the intelligent discourse is infused with increasingly brazen innuendo. Casual observers no longer see two buddies shooting pool, but a couple in their own little world oblivious to those around them.

And then it happens. You go that one last step and suddenly, there is no more standing night at the watering hole. The line between platonic and sexual is blurred to the point of erasure and suddenly everything you’ve been denying is in plain sight.

And that's when it all goes to hell.

Regardless of how that works out (and we all know that story) the original, quixotic essence of your relationship is lost. For the lucky few, it may actually have evolved into something better. Good for them. But most of the time, the effort you spent on cerebral stimulation is replaced with something less than...well, satisfying. If only because you still yearn for the challenge it presented.

Anyone can fuck. Unfortunately, not everyone can hold a conversation.