Why Basketball is Better than Football

Saturday night, after watching UCLA lose and USC win (bastards) and then drinking tequila, I switched over to watch the Los Angeles Clippers putting the hurt on the Phoenix Suns. There were 11.6 seconds left, the score was 116 to 106, Clippers leading.

If this had been a football game and there were just under 12 seconds left on the clock, the guys would have taken off their helmets and farted around the field for a few, then walked off before the time even ran out.

But not in basketball. Here they actually run around the court actively trying to overcome a 10 point deficit in 11 seconds.

Also, there's no reaching between another guy's legs and pretending that's okay. Plus, ballers have nicer muscles than football players.

And unlike the damn Raiders (I am Mexican, after all), the Clippers actually know how to win. Seriously, how many times can you let them sack your damn quarterback?

I'm really glad basketball is back. And after the Bruins give it up on December 2nd (lets not pretend we're gonna win that game), we can move on to rooting for the basketball team. We're not letting Florida take it again this year!

Confidential to Bruin Alumni and welcomed guests: Speaking of The Big Game, we're gathering at my parents' house this year for the 2nd Annual Napkin Dispensation. No Trojans allowed! Anyone appearing in the slightest shade of hateful crimson will be shot on sight and left to be eaten by vultures and marauding bands of rabid cannibal babies (yes, that does include my traitor brother). And then you can all come watch me run around Griffith Park the next morning. Go Bruins!