Drowning the Sorrow
Tonight, I've been drinking tequila for the better part of an hour...but I had the good sense to cut it with orange juice, so at least it hasn't been 5 shots of pure agave juice. It's shitty mixer tequila anyway, so not like I could drink it straight if I wanted to.
The cat burglar gave it to me. He has good taste, which this is not. So that was a clear indication that he was an asshole.
Anyway, it was one of those days when no matter what went right, one thing toppled my entire fragile Jenga block tower of happiness. I'll let you guess what went wrong:
Things I Love:
- bikini waxes
- late starts to the day
- sex
- cheese
- tequila
Things I Hate:
- grossly inept coworkers
- boredom
- traffic
- drinking alone
- flaky people
Things I Try to Avoid:
- chocolate
- talking to the ex
- bad tequila
- hangovers
- early a.m. meetings
It's kind of like a Choose Your Own Adventure book. Completely correct guesses, and there are a couple (just choose at least one from each list!), will receive one entire year of goodwill from his fellow man, as well as your choice between the following:
- a handful of Pacific beach sand
- drunken GPG French kisses
- a bag of Reese's Pieces
- a postcard size GPG original photograph
Guessing is open to all, even those of you who I've already informed of the shit that became of my day. Because I know you are the ones that will enjoy prize #2 the most. And for that, I'm glad we've been friends for 21 years or more.
Heh, I'm drunk. And apparently whoring myself, and my artwork, out to the savviest reader.
Good luck!
12 comments:
Late start ('cause of some action), but then traffic, useless coworkers and chocolate hidden in your cheese; so now you're drinking bad tequila alone, before tomorrow's early meeting?
Or did you break a nail?
Sweetie. *bloghug*
PS: I loved those CYOA books! Blast from the past...
Lets see
Bikini wax followed by a late start, which ran you in to traffic, and made it harder to deal with the CF (grossly inept co-worker) when you finally got to the office then for some reason you talked to the Ex which led to go home and Drink bad tequila Alone which will lead to a hangover before your early morning meeting.
Did I get it right?
So I think a bikini wax, then boredom, then early a.m. meetings. That's my vote, and I'm casting it now.
I might be dense, but I don't get the rules of this task. I will try anyways.
I know you love tequila (the good stuff) and hate traffic (fucking non-natives) and avoid chocolate (like you life counted on it).
If possible, I would take drunken kisses or an original signed artwork, although the Reese's Pieces are yummy.
And the winner is...no one really!
I will say that ex-boyfriends really should just fall off the planet or otherwise die a death equal to their horrible nature, like being eaten alive by locusts while being burned at the stake. Or, did anyone see "Hostel"? Torture is awesome.
What me, bitter? Nah.
But since I'm drinking again tonight (woo hoo!) and in such a magnanimous mood, I will give everyone who played a signed 8x10 copy of a picture of their choice. Email me for details.
1) Don't love: late starts
2) Don't hate: drinking alone
3) Don't avoid: hangovers
You're just trying to get a free signed picture.
That you can sell on eBay for 22 cents.
Too late!
"I will say that ex-boyfriends really should just fall off the planet or otherwise die a death equal to their horrible nature, like being eaten alive by locusts while being burned at the stake. Or, did anyone see "Hostel"? Torture is awesome."
Damn...I don't check in for a couple days and you take it out on me by saying things like this?
I'm more pissed that I missed a contest. You know how much I love the Reese's.
I was wondering where you went.
I take back the blanket statements about ex-boyfriends. Because it absolutely does NOT apply to the first boy. Especially not after the memories you have of him behind the school gym. ;)
Puppy love was great, wasn't it?
No, puppy love was shite. I loved the same guy for 6 years, and he never knew I existed. I still love him a little bit.
Well my very first instance of puppy love was my neighbor Miguel. I still, to this day, adore that name. Though I can't remember what the guy looks like.
Then there was Tommy, who the Krazy Mommy and I fought over from kindergarten through 2nd grade when he finally moved away.
After that I don't remember much, until JTS up there, who was my first boyfriend, and the only one I can still say really nice things about. :)
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