Boobies on the Run
I found out a shocking secret yesterday. I had no idea, and WOW was it disturbing to realize it.
Brace yourselves, this isn't pretty.
Turns out that my boobs are having an affair with my black sports bra. I swear to god, I came home from a five-mile run yesterday with hickeys where the top seam laid across my chest.
This isn't the only sports bra I work out in. I have about 7, so they're in constant rotation. This used to be a decent one, kept them squeezed tight, no bouncing. It's cotton, but hey, nobody's perfect.
And now I have to get rid of it. I can't have it scratching and biting at these precious mounds of flesh while I'm trying to get my run on. Like some feral cat in heat. That's just rude. And painful.
I've got places I have to take these tits, and I can't have them looking like they just had a little hustle down under the covers* with an over-eager, amateur lover.
I don't do those.
So that means I have to wear boring, conservative tops until this heals. Which is okay, I suppose, since it's finally cold out and the boobies need protection from the elements.
It still pisses me off.
*Who doesn't love a little lemon meringue?
11 comments:
you run with those? That's a feat in iteslf.
Was that last thing spam, or just zen? I... uh... hate it when my clothes attack me, too. And stuff.
it's spooky, the machines are almost making sense now, like they're learning
oh yeah, boobies. You own your own pair while I have had to work all my life for access. I have no sympathy for you
I can't have it scratching and biting at these precious mounds of flesh while I'm trying to get my run on. Like some feral cat in heat.
We are seriously leading parallel lives. Except my sports bra is sort of separating from its affair with my boobies. It used to hold them in, nice and snug, and now, it seems it would rather part ways. But this is just as of late; earlier this year, they were quite the pair. And I have no idea what sports bras are good; it's been a long time since I purchased one. My boobies may go into depression for a bit. They will miss their old standbys.
I say we take that man handling sports bra out back and kick it in the teeth... wait, it doesn't have teeth, well I guess there's not much we can do... wait, lets burn it, it must suffere the death penalty for attempting to disfigure the boobies that must be on parade/display when the girls get together.
Will: it's not like they're going to jump up and hit me in the eye.
Oscar: read the archives, and please learn to spell.
David: the spam has a blog, so I don't know...
SJ: don't hate. Though they are absolutely wonderful to have.
Roonie: one of my Champion bras suddenly went all loosey-goosey on me too. Guess it couldn't take the bouncing. But at least it didn't try to cleave itself onto me.
Lil: it DOES have teeth! That's the problem. But I'm all for a bonfire. Because I'm wearing a turtleneck today. Even with a short skirt and boots, that ain't the sexiest.
sound like the "girls" are in need of some chocolate, that always helps the healing!
Being that I'm allergic, and the human mouth is quite toxic, I will pass on the offer to apply chocolate sauce to my wounded tits for someone else to lick off. God forbid I get chocolate in my hurties!
But I do so appreciate you thinking of it. ;)
Well maybe we should opt for whipped cream instead ;)
Next time. ;)
heehee
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