July by the Numbers

Wasn't June just yesterday? Why is it I merely blinked and an entire month disappeared? The world must be spinning faster. I blame global warming.

3 free glasses of scotch
2 birthdays guessed exactly right on target
3 baby showers
3 "Automatic Sprinkler" onesies received for one baby
8 hours in Burbank's shittiest hotel
5 consecutive days off
15 stories above the world
1 incredibly romantic evening
2 clubs on the Sunset Strip
3 new restaurants
165 minutes of Johnny Depp yumminess
95 minutes of operatic divaness by the Gay Men's Chorus of Los Angeles
300 minutes spent as a mermaid
1 head smacked into the side of the pool
3 seconds of humiliation for attempting a backstroke without properly counting the strokes
15 family members present for the arrival of the baby werewolf
7 pounds and 11 ounces of squishy baby goodness
2 incredibly exhausted new parents
2 new dads observed bonding in the nursery
116 pictures taken of the event
1 useless thumb
40 minutes waiting to take x-rays
5 minutes spent being radiated
2 x-rays taken
2 doctors visited
0 diseases found