Got Doppelgänger?

Apparently I, and a few of my kiddies, do.

It started last weekend when I heard my niece and nephew ran into me at the mall. Except it wasn't me. They were confused as to why this girl they were convinced was their auntie was not overjoyed and smothering them with kisses upon seeing them in public (per usual). Their nanny actually brought them over to this mystery woman to prove to them she was just a poor substitute. The girl said she'd heard about me, and it wasn't the first time she'd been mistaken for me.

I still have no idea who this girl is. But I wonder why the hell she isn't doing her part to keep me sane. Bitch.

Then today, minding the lawyers while the Chairman of the SEC was giving a groundbreaking keynote speech, I ran into who I thought was Sanction's drummer. Except, he's not an attorney. But there he was, in a grey suit. Except it wasn't him. It was his Grey-suited Lawyerly Look-a-like.

Scary.

Again, minding my own business and standing in a large hall at the Biltmore, brown-haired Will came up to me and asked where he could buy dental floss. Suffering from lack of sleep and OD'd on hotel food, I dumbly stared at the man who could be The Boy, if only he were blond. I'm still convinced he dyed his hair as a result of his anger at Jesus for the Mets losing, happened to be in the my hotel for no reason whatsoever, and asked the one person he recognized for assistance.

Sweetie, please stop stalking me.

I desperately need sleep. Maybe then I'll stop seeing things.

But if anyone finds that chick who could be me but isn't, please bring her to me right quick. She and I are gonna have words. Then she's picking up the slack.