A Day Without A Jew
Did anyone else notice there was NO traffic today?
I decided to be adventurous and take a different set of streets to work today, having heard they were the asphalt equivalent of the bullet train. Imagine my glee when I, speeding down Venice Blvd, decided the rumors were indeed true.
And then I passed under the 10 freeway, which was also moving at an abnormally fast clip. For a brief moment I wondered if it was actually Sunday, and I'd gone and fucked up my schedule again. But the morning radio show assured me it was indeed a weekday and I chalked it up to random weirdo traffic patterns.
It wasn't until I was 5 blocks from the office--in less than 30 minutes!--that I realized what today is. Nearly deserted streets in one of the densest business centers in the city wasn't due to a miracle, it's just Yom Kippur. Take a few hundred thousand Chosen Ones off the street and like magic, downtown is empty!
Why can't there be a Jewish holiday every day? It only took me 20 minutes to get back home. That's usually how long it takes me just to get ON the freeway. The entrance to which, by the way, is immediately around the corner from my office. I can see the on-ramp from the reception area. (Yeah, classy.)
Anyway, happy Yom Kippur to you Jews out there. It's also the Queen's Birthday and Labor Day down under, but I don't know any Australians who took the day off. If you did, thank you for staying home and making it easy to get to and from work today.
Can we all do the same thing tomorrow?
11 comments:
just think, when god was handing out holidays and told us we could have one day to serve as our day of atonement, he inadvertently started anti-semitism. the other religions were jealous that they had to endure 40 days or whatever to do what we can do in one day! also, believe me that there would be plenty of pissed off people if every day were a jewish holiday. seems we never got the whole "celebration" thing right, as we always have to give SOMETHING up for our holidays. l'chaim!
I took the day off, but then again I'm not Australian
JY: remember the movie "40 Days & 40 Nights," which showed us that real relationships can flower if people just wait to have sex? It's so beautiful!
SJ: aww, thanks for playing!
I was so excited when it only took me 25 minutes to get to work yesterday, especially since I don't feel well, and then I leave work and I kid you not it took me 5 minutes from my office to Wilshire and Sepulveda, I didn't know what to do, So I didn't question it and kept driving I was loving the lack of traffic so it took me 45 minutes to get home which isn't bad, I was happy and it wasn't until I was driving home and saw the people walking and realized that they were wearring Yamikas (sp) that I realized there was no traffic because of the holiday. Damn I wish every day was like that.
Q: what are bagels made out of?
A: jew-dough
acctually, i noticed no diff in the population, i guess my area is just redneck central
Yeah, it was weird, wasn't it? Quiet.
LB: I can't wait till you move to the westside.
Exile: yeah, you'll have to wait until that white trash holiday to feel any effect.
DNS: yes, but nice.
i stayed off the roads yesterday just for you!
and I atoned for my sins of not calling you back last week. I'm sorry! I have been totally exhausted, no energy to talk in the evenings, i miss talking to you in the day but I'm glad you have a job since Hannukah is around the corner and you have 8 days of presents to buy me (haha). I am thinking about you, I do miss you and I will talk to you soon!
You haven't celebrated Hannukah since we were 7 years old, you liar. And your precious little Jew-Hindu-lics that will not be receiving Barbies or Hot Wheels from me this year.
Or ever again.
Feel better!
exo- white trash holiday? you mean like the season open for nascar?
Or the new season of Springer.
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