Now Hiring: A Few Good Clones

I had a mini “oh-shit” moment earlier today when I realized how crazy my life is about to become. I entertain you now with a peek at the next 3 weeks of my life:

Oct 13 - 5:30P - Eye Appt @ Marina del Rey
Oct 13 - 6:30P - Rehearsal Dinner @ Malibu
Oct 14 - 4:30P - Cousin's Wedding @ Malibu
Oct 14 - 6:30P - Pre-Run Pasta Dinner @ Queen Mary
Oct 15 - 7:00A - Long Beach Half Marathon @ Long Beach Civic Center
Oct 16 - 5:00P - Post-Run Celebration @ Joxer Daly's
Oct 17 - 6:30P - Event Planning Forum @ Paramount Studios
Oct 19 - 6:30P - Photo Shoot @ Los Angeles
Oct 20 - 7:00A - Legal Seminar @ Biltmore Hotel
Oct 21 - 4:30P - "Dinah" Photo Shoot @ San Francisco
Oct 22 - 8:00A - Nike Women's Marathon @ San Francisco
Oct 26 - 6:30P - Cocktail Party @ French 75
Oct 27 - 8:00P - Knott's Scary Farm!! @ Knott's
Oct 28 - 10:00A - Photo Shoot 1 @ Santa Monica
Oct 28 - 2:00P - Photo Shoot 2 @ Culver City
Oct 28 - 10:00P - Halloween Party @ Venice
Oct 31 - 8:00P - WeHo Parade @ West Hollywood
Nov 3 - 7:00P - Bouncing Souls @ House of Blues

Yeah, I’m a busy person normally, but this is retarded. I honestly don’t know how I’m going to do this all by myself--some of these things require me to be in two places at once. And this schedule doesn't take into account all the nights I'm working late trying to make marketing deadlines.

Forget about having a fulltime job, when am I supposed to go get a haircut? Or a Halloween costume? This goes way beyond needing a mere personal assistant. What I clearly need is a second GPG to fulfill all my obligations, if not a third and fourth too.

So I'm willing to share this fabulously over-committed life of mine with anyone willing to pick up my slack. You can get my eyes checked, my hair cut, pick out a cool costume...hell, even come to SF with me to cover the marathon while I lounge in C-dub's guest room with her cat. In the meantime, I'll take care of the 9 to 5, Long Beach, and all the other fun stuff. Like Halloween!!

To apply, please list your qualifications in the comments. Applicants must be witty, socially adept, able to handle a 20D, and look good in a cocktail dress. Because the one thing I desperately need a pinch-hitter for is at least one of the familial obligations this weekend. The rest should be cake.

I hope.