A Weekend Away

As you know, I had to shoot me some whores up San Francisco way this weekend. And all the wackiness that ensued can be broken down into two categories. In list form:

Odd, Outrageous, or Just Plain Wrong Occurances:

• Heavy fog...that started when I pulled into the LAX area and lifted the moment I stepped on the plane
• Being lectured by a TSA agent for not removing my plastic baggie from my suitcase before entering the security check point
• Slicing the tip of my pinkie with a plastic knife while trying to cut open a blueberry bagel (I don't even like blueberry bagels, but Starbucks doesn't care)
• Pete Carroll standing in front of me at the car rental place
• Not stabbing him
• Getting into my rental vehicle and having it reek of marijuana
• Finding myself shooting at a nude beach
• A naked man asking me to take pictures of him
• A fire breaking out in the building next to C-Dub's house
• Falling asleep after only one martini
• Being delayed out of Oakland, putting me back in LA too late for dinner with mom
• Being told I have "a great face" by the guy sitting next to me on the plane

Funny, Pleasant, and Just Plain Nice Occurances:

• Chatting with a band at the airport
• Spending time with my lovely C-Dub and her fiance
• Stealing the her soul while she frolicked in the cold San Francisco Bay among the naked onlookers
• Their Kitty (yeah, that's her name) head-butting me while I was sleeping
• Dreaming of buying shoes, then going out to buy shoes
• Meeting the witty and attractive man behind Drink More Jack, who has blue eyes that aren't scary and all-around good taste (he passes the tests)
• Back in LA, hearing H. Wood's college-era pick up lines about being an astronaut, or a congressman who just passed a bill protecting orphaned monkeys
• Alcohol, with all the above-mentioned people (not the naked ones)