Baby Spy in Training
Today I got me my own little leather-bound notepad, like the police detectives get. It's part of the IST (International Spy Training) at a facility we'll call Spangley. It's real, I swear.
The notepad makes me all official and stuff.
I also discovered my super secret power. Just by laughing, I gave myself the most godawful cramp in my left ovary. It was sharp and deep and hurt like a bitch, like my laugh bone was directly connected to it. Clearly, there is no good reason to inflict pain on myself so I have to learn to throw the hurt at someone else. Much like pernicious ventriloquism.
One of these days I'm going to be totally deadly. Not just to myself either.
And it's going to be rad.
5 comments:
Well darling I think it would be much safer if you slowed down so that you didnt accidently harm yourself irreprebly before you became a international spy. So take it just a little bit more easy while you perfect your super secret powers. I'd like to live to continue to pick on cornfed cows and stupid people.
the laugh bone can't be connected there. remember, the song says "the hip bone's connected to the leg bone. the leg bone's connected the foot bone." so on and so forth. in fact, now that i think about it, i don't recall every really hearing about a "laugh" bone. i think you're making that up!
yes, and your code name will be
Madame Ovary
Princess: I'll call in your military training to back me up, that way we can continue to ridicule the cows and the square butt bitches.
JY: are you calling me a liar???
Exile: clever. Very clever. I'm going to have to keep my eye on you.
Though I will add that to my list of names in my leather-bound notebook. Just in case.
Well, when you kick it to the big times, remember us little fellows while you are jet setting around the world.
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