Land o' Lists
I make lists. They help organize life. La Ria does it too, so I know I'm not alone in my idiosyncrasies.
I used to tease my boy Mr. Reed about being a Check List Checker. He is in charge of huge files with blue lists attached, and every so often, he marks something off. In the course of that, a home loan is approved or denied, but that's neither here nor there. And it's really funny how pissed off he gets when I call him a Check List Checker.
Anyway, back to me and how fabulous I am. Here are a few lists I compiled for your reading pleasure. Because your pleasure is almost as important to me as my own.
The Incomplete List of Random Things I've Said Out Loud Recently:
- Fuck, I need a passport, don't I?
- I want candy!!
- What, you're not going to call me fresh meat?
- I don't really like the Beatles.
- Ooh, check out that young lawyer boy. Mmm.
- They're not "stupid," they're just shallow.
- You don't like tequila? Sissy.
- Blue eyes are scary.
- Where are my keys? I need to pee!
- Wearing a suit makes me feel like a little kid playing dress up.
- Your super power could be that you piss Guiness, like you're your own personal keg!
The Incomplete List of Random Thoughts I've Had Recently:
- Did I just break my shoe?
- I hate the fucking traffic in Koreatown.
- She did NOT just say "supposably," right?
- Why does my seat feel sticky?
- Tim Allen is a fucking moron.
- Wonderful, now I have blue ink all over my face.
- Please don't be white trash.
- Did I have lunch today?
- Wait, I'm busy Thursday too?
- Oh, he did not post that, really? Really?
- Aw, I miss my Sailor.
- Poor people drive like shit.
- Can I eat a jalapeño popper while driving?
- When did my hair turn black?
Incomplete List of Random Lines from Recent Emails I Wrote:
- It's a party! Against cancer! Which is fun!
- Otherwise, you can go with your gay bf sans chaperone!
- I emailed you from work, to your work, so our work emails could bond.
- Woo, Borat!
- I underestimated you. You have proven yourself a worthy nemesis. The battle is on!
- I'm not sure Pollock ever dabbled in the "brains & gore" medium.
9 comments:
I like lists too, in the world of KM I could not get anything done without lists. In fact I made a list tonight of the places I want to go tomorrow, otherwise I would forget. I actually did forget one place until the KD reminded me of one of them, hence the SUPER need for lists.
yeah, the beatles aren't that great
i'm kinda glad they're all dead
Did you make a list of lists that you were going to include in your blog? Just curious.
I don't do lists because they make me feel guilty.
I still need a nemisis
laughing super hard at "supposably." had she thrown in a "pasghetti," an "overexaggerated," and perhaps a "heighth," i'd be laying on the floor after falling out of my chair from laughter. good post.
KM: do you ever forget a kid? Because that might be bad.
Exile: you do realize they're not, right?
JTS: I didn't, and ended up forgetting one very important point. Which I still can't remember. Oy.
Will: best get on that before all the good ones are taken.
JY: "heighth" bugs the crap out of me too.
i was thinking that about blue eyes today. those sort of transparent soul-less ones...sort of like gentle wolves.
rockin good news re job
See, I'm not the only one that doesn't trust them!
(Thanks, SJ.)
I have a simple To Do list for you. C'mon over and answer my latest and greatest set of Gonzo Papers questions. And, I think you'll especially enjoy this one, Write YOUR ABC's. I anxiously await seeing your answers.
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