August by the Numbers

What a month. I thought I'd have a job by now. Instead, I'm considering prostitution as a viable option. Even if there are no 401(k) options or paid vacations. At least it's easy money!

36.5 miles run
9 weeks to relieve the leg pain issue
5 days with tolerable discomfort
31 days unemployed
12 interviews survived
1 interview killed before it began for being related to an associate at the company
2 hours wasted taking their remedial candidate tests and then waiting for the stupid recruiter who was running late, all to be told that they do not hire relatives of existing employees
3.2 fleeting seconds of wondering whether homicide would have been justified at that point
6 hours spent training a replacement for a previous employer
60 minute massage rewarded for my efforts
110.35 dollars spent on alcohol in one week
3 birthdays celebrated or not
30 years of wedded bliss achieved by my kooky, lovable alien parents
240 pictures shot in a single photo session
0 outfit changes necessary
8 of us at a Dodger game
1 obstinate child unwilling to share her cotton candy
4 runs scored by the home team in the bottom of the 7th
418 additional dollars raised for charity
3 glasses of wine imbibed before movie premiere
106 enjoyable Snakes on a Plane minutes
5 hours spent reuniting with old classmates
18 shots of whisky guzzled over the course of the evening
3 pit stops made on the ride home to relieve my stomach of its contents
1 bon voyage party for Kentucky native, talented actress/writer/singer, and my whore Lex
5 months till we see her again
3 threesomes proposed
0 threesomes resulting
1 new website launched
5 galleries added
26 blogs posted