TV Rots Your Brain

Today marks the beginning of the end for some. It's the kickoff of Premiere Week on most networks. But it's also Countdown to Cancellation for a lot of the new shows hitting the airwaves.

I like playing a deathpool type of game with this every year, betting on which shows will crash and burn in ratings hell. I usually call it pretty easily. Anyone remember that Ray Liotta disaster Smith? No? That's because it was only on for about 3 episodes (I had a friend who was a writer on the show. Unemployment came quickly for him). I didn't think Heroes would make it either, because the pilot bored me to tears. Now that it's back for it's increasingly popular 2nd season, I remain baffled but uninterested.

Back to the game: Metacritic has the entire primetime line-up for network tv. All you have to do is determine which won't make it to November sweeps. Or February. Or May. If you live in the upside down place and don't get American television, it's okay. Just toss it out there and see what sticks.

(That's kind of how network execs do it anyway.)

Here's the short list (asterisks next to the ones I might actually watch):

Sundays
- Viva Laughlin! (It's like Vegas, but not)
- Online Nation
- CW Now
- Life is Wild

Mondays
- Samantha Who? (never even heard of it)
- The Big Bang Theory
- Aliens In America
- K-Ville (can anyone explain why a show in New Orleans is called K-Ville? Does it have something to do with Katrina?)
- Journeyman

Tuesdays
- Cavemen*
- Carpoolers
- Cane*
- Reapers (like Dead Like Me, but not?)
- Chuck

Wednesdays
- Pushing Daisies
- Private Practice
- Dirty Sexy Money*
- Kid Nation
- Gossip Girl
- Back to You
- Kitchen Nightmares
- Bionic Woman
- Life

Thursdays
- Big Shots*

Fridays
- Women's Murder Club
- Moonlight (like Angel, without David Boreanz?)
- American Band
- Nashville (like American Idol, for talentless country twangers?)

Winners like me will get to watch football and then basketball from now until next June. Yay!