My Lucky Stars Aligned

Just because I'm accident-prone doesn't mean I don't get cut a lucky break every once in a while. I've taken out enough insurance on Lucky Stars.com to guarantee that I manage to just skate by disaster instead of running head-on into it.

Ways I am luckier than you:

1. When I accidentally threw my keys in the dumpster, there was no real trash in it. Just bunches of leaves and a newly-discarded computer box. So it was very easy for me to simply jump, lean, and retrieve. Luck factor: 4.

2. Walking up the street to meet my man for football at the downtown sports bar, I tried avoiding some water that was running into the gutter. Step, step, slip! I'm not so good at the manuevering. And I was wearing flip-flops. And my foot somehow turned upside down, so my exposed toes were in for serious hurting. But I came away only filing off the nail polish on my big toe. This was super cool in two ways: that didn't hurt, and it wasn't a professional polish job so no big loss there! Then the guy who was standing at the entrance to the bar and witnessed the whole thing told me I was beautiful and that God loves me. Expert testimony from homeless people. Luck factor: 5. Because I could have broken something. And sued the city!

3. Blowing a tire is not a good thing, ever. But with high-performance low-profile tires being so fucking expensive, it's a worse thing. And when you do that, it's going to probably cost you another arm and a leg to replace that specialty rim too. But none of these things happened to me when I woke up at 6 am Friday morning. When the AAA guy pulled the tire off my car and saw that it was completely chewed up down to the metal threads, he said I was lucky it didn't come off during my nightly jaunt down the freeway at excessive speeds. More expert testimony right there. Luck factor: 10+. LA freeways are no joke.

4. Not knowing that I was allergic to egg whites, or that my frozen yogurt concoction thingy had egg-anything in it, you can imagine my surprise when my throat closed up and I spent the next hour trying not to die from lack of breathing. But eventually Death loosened its grip on me and I was able to go about my Friday with live comedy and slow pizza delivery. It turned out to just be a low-level allergy. Luck factor: 10+.

5. Last night, I dreamt that I found money. Lots of it. This morning I got up to do laundry. And as I was loading pants into the washer, out fell a huge wad of cash. It was mostly just ones and fives, but that don't matter. Unexpected denari is like a gift from the gods. And now that I can make it appear simply by sleeping? Clearly, I'm the luckiest girl on earth! Luck factor: off the charts.

How lucky are you?