Falling in Love in My Free Time

You may have noticed I took a few days off last week from the daily posting. Or not. I don't really know what you notice, but the stats say you keep coming back so something must be right. You might also be wondering what the hell I've been doing if not keeping you entertained during the Exxy Dark Period.

Answer: I was losing myself to a new vice and enjoying the shit out of it like you would not believe. At 29, I've discovered yet something new that gets me tingly all over my body, starting from my lips and going all the way down to my toes.

Tuesday night, Spanky gave me advice while I gave him alcohol. It's a nice payment system we have worked out: retainers via booze. As I swallowed it down slowly yet hungrily, I pleasured him with a story about the mistake that led to my infatuation with a tantalizing 18-year-old.

Cleverly, he asked what the mistake's name was. I simply flashed him that trademark smile he so enjoys.

Wednesday night another lawyer, a little more forceful than the previous night's companion, introduced me to a 21-year-old he insisted I try. And in that first instant, it was all over. As I sat taking in more and more, I fell deeper and deeper into an obsession that will probably be the death of me.

I thought heaven was found in a double shot of chilled fine tequila. As it turns out, it's actually in a glass of The Balvenie single malt scotch.

5 glasses later I was throwing back truffles with none of those pesky caffiene-induced side effects that usually cramp my fun. So not only have I discovered the perfect alcohol, I've found the cure to my allergy: high-end scotch!

To quote someone smarter than me: I love scotch! Scotchy, scotch, scotch!

Now all I need is to cultivate a love for cigars and I might actually become the perfect woman.

Till then, all you get is little ol' me. Back from the dark.

Kinda.