Allergia = Not Allegria

My body hates me. It's tempermental and bitchy, which should be no surprise seeing as I am who I am. But who gave my body the greenlight to act like this?

For example, every once in a while I develop really random food allergies. It's always stuff that I've eaten my entire life without any consequence, until the one day my internal organs decide to throw a hissy fit and I can no longer tolerate egg yolks. Or peanuts. Or Thai food.

It only lasts about 6 months at a time. Then the body strike ends and I go back to eating whatever the fuck I want. Until the next time.

Currently, it's anything caffeinated. Like chocolate. This particular malady has been an on-again/off-again irritant for a couple of years. One time, I had a teeny slice of super moist chocolate cake and within 5 minutes had hives all over my left arm. That extreme a reaction is rare, usually my throat just gets really sore and itchy.

It's not life threatening but it is deeply annoying. People look at me like I have three heads when I tell them I'm allergic to chocolate. Because really, how random is that? In the meantime, I can't have soda or coffee or any other yummy-like drink.

Annoying. Because I really want a diet Coke right now. Mmm, diet Coke.

*grumpy*

I've also developed some lovely gout-like symptoms. How, why, what the fuck, I have no idea. It's ridiculous. I'm going to trade it in for a newer model. Without lopsided tits!