7.18.2006

Boobs Askew


I'm asymmetrical. Which I'm told is normal. And not in that grossly obvious way either. They both straddle the smaller side of the Victoria Secret D-cup fence. Most of the time, they look full and pretty and normal under clothes.

But sometimes, one wants more attention than the other.

The other day, I had on a really nice v-neck blouse with matching camisole underneath. This was also the day that my left boob decided to assert its dominance over my right one. The cami kept getting pulled to the left, making me look all rumply and decidedly unprofessional (this while I had meetings with hotel reps). It was quite obvious that the v-necks weren't lining up.


I played with the straps on the tank, tried tucking it into my pants to hold it in place, but nothing kept me from having to yank it back every 5 minutes. There was no way to be discreet about it either.

This used to happen with a different shirt. Except that one always pulled to the right. What the hell??? It's like they take turns making me look lopsided.


There are worse problems than your tits hanging out of your shirt. Some people actually have jobs that require it. Unfortunately, mine does not. So I've got to figure out how the hell to keep them under control.

Any suggestions?

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

now come on I have seen your boobs, and while they are big, "tried tucking it into my pants to hold it in place", they are not big enough to tuck into your pants!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ghetto Photo Girl said...

The SHIRT, you 'tard!

Though you are one of the only people reading who has actually seen me naked. You are so special.

SkookumJoe said...

try spinning around as fast as you can. The centrifical force should equal them out. Mind you don't knock over the lamp.

Ghetto Photo Girl said...

Too bad you already have a job when you get to LA.

exile said...

duct tape works like no babysitter can

i'm sure it can work on your malicious mammories

Ghetto Photo Girl said...

And I was looking forward to a babysitter. Oh well.

BurgandySkies said...

Hey this is easy - GPG, let me introduce you to Hollywood Double Sided fashion tape. Available for only 7.00 for a 36 count box (much cheaper than a babysitter), and available at either BB&B, or at www.beauty.com (I LOVE that website!)

And THAT'S why I run a Q&A every Friday on Pererro. ;)

Ghetto Photo Girl said...

Ah, thanks for the tip, honey. But since I no longer have a job, it's okay that my titties hang out all over the place. It's what god intended for them to do, obviously.