Dry Martinis Are Not Sexy
Something is drawing the moisture out of my body and turning me into a sad mummified sack. Now, in the middle of the most humid summer we've ever had, I've become a dry, weathered husk.
It actually rained in Santa Monica this morning. Real raindrops falling from the clouds, moisture floating all around me. And yet I suffer with chapped lips, severely dry skin and a parched throat. It makes no sense.
Forget kissing. One little peck and I'm slathering on more lip blam. Which isn't sexy. The amount of Chapstick I've been going through, you'd think I'd been engaging in more vigorous activity. I assure you, it's the evil invisible gnomes sucking me dry. (Which would also explain these strange little bite marks I have all over my body now...I blamed someone's bed bugs, but it must be the gnomes.)
I've been drinking water like it's going out of style, and yet I'm thirsty all the time. What the hell is wrong with me? Isn't this how diabetes starts? Am I about to go blind and have my legs amputated?
Definitely NOT sexy!!!
And for the record, I take my martinis sweet, dirty and only with Tanqueray. Very sexy.
5 comments:
you haven't been packing your body in salt for long periods have you? Cause that could do it.
do you feel a lack of electrolites?
perhaps you need gatoraide
it is for the deep down body thurst after all.
Maybe you needed your job to not instatnly get old. Or you just have too much time to think about things.
Or maybe it's radiation. Hard to say.
I do have an interview this afternoon, David. So maybe I'll get over it right quick.
Let's hope, kids. Otherwise, ick.
It is not too hot, however, to shoot high school kids. An incident that took place in my neighborhood Sunday and led my father to freak out. I've lived here for years, but a little drive-by and all of a sudden I'm a fragile little flower who needs to be shielded from the violence in the world.
GPG needs a white knight. Dads are funny.
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