Not Being an Idol
I don't watch American Idol. Like most reality tv, I find it annoyingly ridiculous and stupidly overhyped. But in the last few weeks, I've been unable to avoid it as people have suddenly decided that I look like tonight's winner: Jordin Sparks.
The most bizarre experience I've had was two people in the drug store actually thinking I was this girl. One woman followed me around curiously smiling at me. I had no idea what the hell she was after, I figured she was just a weirdo. But when I got up to the checkstand, the following took place:
Male Checker: *does a double take, stares at me for a few seconds* Oh wow, for a second I thought you were Jordin Sparks.
GPG: No, she's got a bigger mouth than I do.
MC: But she can flow!
GPG: And that's the trade-off. I can't sing, but she's got a huge mouth.
Weirdo Lady (who up to this point had been standing waaaaaaaaaaaay too close for comfort): *comes stands directly next to me so she can look me in the face*: I thought you were her too! I really like her, I hope she wins.
I took my purchases and ran away. The next day I promptly shared this encounter with the work nemesis, who ignored me. A few days later, after the show aired, he then decided to use it to annoy the piss out of me and now has everyone calling me Jordin. Why does this bug me so much? Other than because I'm my own person and not the next 17-year-old semi-talented pop star about to be shoved down our throats?
1. I'm not 17. Nor do I want to be.
2. She's got a HUUUUUUUUGE maw. Me, not so much.
3. On the other hand, she's also much thinner than I am.
4. She's mixed race, as in black and white. While I might be black-inspired (Caribbean bloodlines aren't strictly one or the other), I'm definitely NOT WHITE. Again, I don't want to be. White people don't tan like I do. So sad. Also, my dad was not a football player.
So. The question now is, do I fight against the celebrity that will probably not come my way OR milk this to get unfair advantages in the hoity-toity restaurant reservation game, free celebrity swag, and make strangers think they're talking to a real famous person by offering passer-bys my autograph?
Regardless, I have to start hate-raying the people at work who continue to call me Jordin. It's not like this girl is being hassled by people calling her GPG.
Like she would be so lucky.
10 comments:
Great, thanks for the spoiler warning. Now if I ever get it on DVD or something, the ending will be ruined!
I'd milk it a little. As in, not lie, but not rush to tell people. Well, unless they're leaning on me in a grocery store.
I have a friend on EbonyFriends.com and she like Jordin Sparks.
Thanks for the article,I like it.
I have to say that there really isn't much resemlance other than the hair. I think that's what does it and to be honest your hair is much nicer because it curls all the way to the ends where hers fizzles out at the ends and looks very unkept.
David: I might. We'll see if anyone else is stupid enough to mistake me for her.
P: Remember jr. high, when everyone used to get me confused with what's-her-name? ONLY because of the hair? Why are people so stupid?
ok, first she is actually amazingly talented!!!!!
there is a slight resemblence, even if her mouth is larger!!!
having met her I can tell you she is not thinner than you, but she is much much taller.
she is also nicer than you-haha
and incredibly gorgeous!!!!! so if you are being compared to her, you should take it as a compliment, REALLY!
She really does radiate beauty inside and out, ask the ria!
When did the KM meet the curly haired GPG imposter?
Mother's Day. It was La Ria's present to her.
And I don't doubt she's talented and nice and and tall and all those other great things that I'm not. She's also NOT me.
And I like Me. Much better than I like Not Me.
I mean, I don't see the resemblance. First of all, I do not think she's thinner than you. And second of all, I mean, well, there isn't a second of all. I just wouldn't stalk you in the store thinking you were this Jordin chick. The resemblance isn't that strong.
Although being mistaken for 17 can and should have its perks! That should be a compliment, my friend.
I think my dad voted for you, I mean her, every week.
It will pass, just let it flow off you.
What's the deal with American Idol. It's the crappiest show I've ever seen. It's depressing that so many people watch it.
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