Maybe It Is a Baby
I've spent the weekend feeling pregnant.
Don't worry, I'm pretty damn sure I'm not. But fuck me, this sucks.
My back is fully wrecked. It's the psychosomatic extension of the leg bullshit brought on by the stress that caused the Great Freakout of 2007. So between the busted leg and the back spasm, I've been walking really funny-like.
It reminds me of how pregnant women waddle. I have to be very careful when I sit and stand too. Plus I wore one of those baby doll shirts to work on Saturday that made me look preggers anyway.
Or, I might be turning into a penguin! Which are totally cool these days, after those happy feet and marching movies. Plus they live upside down, more so than even the Australians. Penguins are pretty rad.
But my boobs are feeling rather full these days too. And I don't think penguins have boobies. Right?
Oh damn. This also totally explains the story I'll be telling you tomorrow.
6 comments:
So I can infer that you are getting some on the side and work is not completely consuming :)
Rented "Farce of the Penguins" by Bob Saget this past weekend...think penguins marching with Mystery Science Theater 3000 overdubs. Funny shit when drunk.
your boobs are probably feeling full because they are preparing themselves to be second in the line of defense behind the princess boobs, they are just doing their job, I am sure it happened after Tony Blair said they were pulling out of Iraq, they just got scared because we are the only idiots sticking around.
Nature confirmed last week that I am not pregnant.
KM's theory makes sense, though.
Jack, work is 100% fully consuming.
I smell a cynical marketing ploy.
And cinnamon.
I think the KM is right. I like her theory. It makes a lot of sense to me. But you I promise that if you turn into a penguin that I'll find a way to build you a suitable place to live. So you won't get too hot and I'll only feed you the bestest of Fish.
Aw, you're the bestest!!
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