1 is Not the Loneliest Number
Maybe it's because Valentine's Day is around the corner, or maybe the right-wing is stepping up its war against gay marriage, but Match.com is advertising up a storm. What with their 30 second spots that just show an attractive person laughing. Done in black & white because that's edgy. "You want to see who's on Match.com. Take a peek!"
Yeah, whatever.
Now they're spamming my inbox, telling me I don't have to run alone. They've partnered up with Active.com, through which I have all my marathoning info, to help me find a running mate. And by mate, I mean one with a penis who will also fill my belly with babies.
How sweet. Unfortunately for them, I don't mind being single and I sure as hell would hate having a belly full of babies. I'd have to stab myself repeatedly in the abdomenal region. Which would leave me bleedy and probably dead. Bad.
Despite my usual cynicism, I'm one of those weird people that likes V-day (I liked high school too. I'm TOTALLY weird, I know). Remember how you used to exchange those cutesy cards in grade school? That was so much fun. And since I cherish my childhood memories, I tap into that carefree joy that came from receiving those stupid cards. And the candy!
I love candy.
A certain man once gave me the coolest birthday present ever: a big red lollipop. No one else could get away with that. But it was an inside joke born out of rememberances of 2nd grade Valentine's Day parties. And also my love for big red lollies.
Everyone, single or otherwise, should celebrate by exchanging kiddie cards and red candy. Because it's silly and keeps us young.
Also, ignore Match.com and their ridiculous agenda. Otherwise, the terrorists AND Republicans win.
*shudder*
6 comments:
match is ok but they get so many fakers and spammers on there it's not worth it even if they weren't themselves spammers taboot....
Eh. I get more mad at True.com's omnipresence on Myspace and their constant postings of models that they insinuate are lonely and craving a spanking. Maybe being single makes you horny and dumb and I've just lost track. But, c'mon. Maybe if I was spanking her with $100 bills...
bleedy?
I love how they find the prettiest people to put on those ads too...they won't put up all the 45 yr old dudes who wear tighty whiteys and live at home with mom and play world of warcarft 23 hours a day because, like, it won't sell! haha...
The boyfriend came over last night and said he had something for me....he then pulled out a half eaten box of those hearts and he looked so happy with himself. I tried to be nice but all that came out was "You ate all the yellow ones? Those are my fave!" and he said..."yeah, I'm sorry. But I can get more from my mom...um, I mean..." Yeah. His mom gave them to him to give to me. Nice. And he ate all the ones I like.
I liked being single....cuz then there was no one to eat all the yellow hearts!
Valentine's Day has, hands down, the best candy selection out there. YUMMY HEARTS!
Those little candy hearts cause cancer.
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