June by the Numbers
1 Masters degree conferred on my older brother
30.3 miles run
2 injured legs
14 days of last minute trade show planning and execution
30 hours of overtime earned
2 separate bbq parties missed because of said trade show
300 dollar bar tab racked up by raucous, but generous, sales guy
25 years of continuous living achieved by my baby brother
1 Batman piñata sacrificed to the birthday gods
155 pictures taken for headshots
4 headshots actually used
1 girl closer to 44 women completion
90 dollars spent on another pair of running shoes to avoid further injury
1.5 weeks spent limping like a lame animal
2 rambling phone calls from the new, tattooed admirer
50 dollars saved at the Victoria's Secret boob harness sale
5 hours of tequila drinking
4 new tequilas savored to their fullest extent
1 new addition made to The List
3 additional days of Texas lovin' planned
16 blogs posted
3 novels started
2 novels finished (don't read Wilcken's The Execution or Albo's Hornito. Just don't.)
5 comments:
you are not "like" a lame animal you are a lame animal JK I love you!
and you may have saved $50 at the VS Sale, I did not, I spent $50 and had to buy the only bra in the fucking store that was not on SALE !!!!!!!!!
and you forgot to add 1 great afternoon spent with your best friend at the aforementioned store, and then 1 awesome sushi dinner prepared by said best friend's husband.
and stop hurting yourself! you only have 2 legs, you are not getting anymore, they are not as easy to buy as the 2 boobs, (now currently on sale at above mentioned store)
I'm actually a lot better now, but thanks for your concern. Bitch.
Turns out that last bra I bought does indeed flatten me out. My boobs were totally nonexistent today, like a 12 year old boy. Why did you let me buy it???
because i am so jealous of your great tits and mine are non existent now after nursing 3 kids, that i want you to be as flat as i am, not that it's possible.
30 miles, huh? I need to get back to the gym... Been losing weight swimming, but it's not the same, somehow. Exercising in your backyard just don;t compare...
stop being so damn productive, you make the rest of us look bad
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