Thar She Blows!

One of the things I would highly recommend doing in this life is going on a cruise. You're treated like royalty by the greatest collection of international staffers, who wait on you day and night. And many of the men are quite attractive. Even the gay ones, who provide you with plenty of R&R. It's like heaven...floating out in the big blue sea.

The rocking boat is awesome. I've been on dry land for about 36 hours and I'm still swaying. It's like being tipsy without the fear of a hangover. But that wasn't the best part.

Our favorite game was ogling at what we dubbed "impressive" people. The ones who caused all those broken boats at Disneyland. It's mind boggling that a person can grow up to 400 pounds. And that there was a small country's worth of them on our ship--and we didn't sink!

What's truly amazing is how they managed to shower. The shower stalls in those tiny staterooms are about the size of a postage stamp. The entire bathroom could probably fit in the back seat of my car. How did they get clean???

But seriously, morbid obesity is no joke. Look at what can happen if it gets out of hand!

More stories to follow!