Birthday Wishlist for the Brat

My birthday is the most important day of the entire year and it's the one time I refuse to apologize for being a Class A supreme pain in the ass. Everyone knows this. The news alerts went out last week to mark the 20 day countdown (thanks KM!). We're at T-14 days people. It's crunch time!!

So here's my wishlist:

• iPod (My baby brother already hooked this up!)
  
• Running paraphernalia (gift certicates to New Balance, or anywhere I can get a good sports bra, running shorts, etc)
  
• Canon 580 EX Speedlight (but I'll take the 430 EX for $100 less!)
  
• Hensel Integra Pro 500 two-light Kit
  
• My website designed to my liking
  
• Models (and TIME) to finish the 44 women
  
• Gift certificates to any of the following stores:
  
  • Bed, Bath & Beyond or Linens N Things
    
  • Old Navy
    
  • Macys
    
  • Nordstroms
    
  • Sonia K or SNI (both boutiques on Ventura Blvd)
    
  • DSW
    
• Mani-pedi spa treatments (I'm partial to a certain salon in West LA. Ask and I'll tell you which one.)
  
• Any of the following movies:
  
  • Mulholland Drive
    
  • Kilometer 0
    
  • Entre Las Piernas
    
  • Singles
    
• Good pilates workout DVDs (look for the Gaiam line)
  
• Yoga lessons
  
• Either of the new Chili Peppers or Goo Goo Dolls cds
  
• Tickets to any of the following shows:
  
  • Weenie Roast
    
  • Angels and Airwaves (at my favorite club, the Troubadour! On my actual birthday!!)
    
  • Erasure (at the Ford! Also on my birthday!!)
    
  • Madonna
    
  • INXS (not that the new guy will EVER replace Michael Hutchence, but I'll always have my memories from 1997!)
    
  • Shakira in August
    
  • Chili Peppers
    
  • Goo Goo Dolls (also at the Troubadour!!! Last time I saw them, the Palace still existed!)
    
  • Ozomatli (at the HOB Anaheim, where I've got the hook-up!)
    
• Other bands next time they're in town:
  
  • Lit
    
  • Bouncing Souls
    
  • Sanction got my tequila ticket on that
    

Still lost? Feeling like you ain't got the cash to spend? Then you're a horrible friend because you knew this day was coming and you should have been saving your money like I did for you. If that's the case, hang your head in shame and just make me a card. It's the thought that counts. (Actually, that's total bullshit, but you feeling like an asshole is almost enough retribution. Actually, that's bullshit too. Pool money with everyone else and you can all pitch in for one big giftie! THAT and you feeling like an asshole is sufficient. But barely. You're still buying me drinks on party night.)

Since we're on the subject, here are some ground rules. Your taste is NOT my taste. Unless I explicitly stated that I wanted something, don't go thinking for yourself. If there's even a hint of doubt that I may not like that cd/shirt/hat/fragrance/jewelry/book/etc, do NOT buy it. Get me a gift certificate instead. This is especially true if you think I'd LOVE it. I'll tell you I loved it because I'm not going to be ungrateful to your face, but in my mind you are next in line for a Puerto Rican cut-fest.

Save us both the trouble. And for the record, my piss tastes better than Jose Cuervo, so do NOT buy me tequila unless you know what you're doing. Which you don't. So don't.

My daddy always called me his little princess. Blame him if you don't like my attitude.

Happy birthday to me indeed!!