11.07.2007

Why Work is Bad

Have you seen those Careerbuilder commercials where workers are in a Survivor-type environment, the tagline being "Do more than survive the work week"? There's one where hapless workers are enticed by free doughnuts and bagels, only to fall down a hole and get trapped in mindless meetings.

That gives you an idea of what my typical workday feels like.

Meetings are like purgatory: an endless limbo of people talking in circles, deciding nothing but to continue "thinking by committee" at the next meeting.

It's so painful that stabbing myself in the eye would accomplish more and still hurt less.

But recently I've noticed an even more annoying trend: chewing gum in meetings. In fact, one director goes so far as to bring in new flavors every time we meet. What the fuck? So everyone sits around the table chomping away at Berry Blast or Citrus Melon.


Do you know how difficult it is to take a department head seriously when they look like cows chewing cud? It's awful. I lose respect for them with each smack of the gum. And then I start to wonder why they make more money than I do. Which makes me depressed. And makes the time in the meeting that much more miserable.

Sometimes I wish it was a little more like Singapore.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I hate gum! it's so disgusting! and who the fuck chews gum in a meeting!?!


but please don't stab yourself in the eye, at least have someone at work do it for you, then you can claim workers comp! or better yet maybe someone will blow a bubble into your eye, less pain but you can still get WC

DrinkJack said...

Stabbing is bloody, which means stains, which implies dry cleaning bills. I say, eliminate the stabbing, save money, and drink some whisky.

God, I love an analytical mind.

Ghetto Photo Girl said...

KM: thanks for the idea. I desperately need a vacation, and who doesn't love WC?

Jack: there has been much need for whisky lately. Much.

Woody: Word.