Cutting the Apron Strings

I kind of understand how mothers feel when their kids go off to college. It's difficult to let go of something you've birthed and let it roam around the big, bad, scary world.

I've been sitting on a photo project for the better part of 6 months, since I took a break from shooting it. It could be very close to being done, if only I hadn’t become anal retentive about the “proper” flow of the 44 pieces; the arrangement for which is dictated by its inspiration and therefore out of my control. Instead, I'm mired in reshoots and wondering when I'm going to have make the time to finish it. And it's not for lack of great models, ideas or even time (well, maybe a little bit of it is time. I'm bizzy!!). I turn bipolar ADD-ish if I spend too much time on it. Hence the break.

I got fed up.

I know part of my resistance to just finishing it up right and "proper" is that once it's done, I have to put it out there. For people to critique or love or hate or not. But not yet. Partially because I myself am not happy with it. In fact, I kind of hate it. And I'm not going to put that out there for public consumption.

I'm not usually this big a pussy. I've put more emphasis on the importance of this project than it deserves. This is not going to be the sole definition of me and mine. So I need to just get off my ass, get my models their final prints, and move on with my life.

But first, there's just a little bit more tweaking to do.

Blah.