Throwing Heat

I hate baseball.  It's so fucking boring and goes on for-fucking-ever.  But the other night, I was at a bar waiting for my date, and of course, all three televisions had baseball on. 

But then one cut to the mug of one of Atlanta Braves.  I have no idea who it was, but he was HOT.

A little bit of research on teh internets has turned up two probables: either Mike Gonzalez or Omar Infante.  Omar looks a little bit like the hot Persian guy I romped with with a couple months ago.  Mmm.  But I think it was Mike.

So I'll watch baseball if the Braves are on.  But that's it.  I swear.

I'm a Giver

It's Thursday, and my first day of vacation, so why am I up at 6:30?  The entire purpose of vacations are to sleep in late and ignore the real world.  I got good and drunk last night so that would guarantee a late morning in bed.  But then I decided I wanted to go to the gym at 8:30 and fouled up my entire plan.

I'm really my own worst enemy. 

With all this extra free time, I decided to go through my Linked In contacts to help a friend get a job in SF.  But as soon as I fired up the internets, lo and behold, broken testicle stories!  And since we hate the baseball here at Exxy HQ, what better way to start the morning than sharing it with all of you?

Enjoy!

March by the Numbers

I still hate baseball. But I love lists and numbers, so here you go. My quite busy 31 days:

13 hours playing the planner behind the scenes for one very long event
15 hours before the end of that and the start of a boat trip
3 nights on a cruise
12 hours docked in Ensenada
189 dollars for a passport
0 seconds spent exploring Mexico
0 need for said passport
2 gay boys instantly bonded with
40 dollars spent playing B-I-N-G-O
4000 dollars to be won
0 dollars won
150 dollars wasted at the spa
90 dollars of products they attempted to sell me
5 minutes to the top of the rock wall
20 minutes before my arms stopped vibrating
3 glorious days with my best friend, not worrying about a fucking thing
400 miles traveled by sea
260 miles traveled to and from San Diego
2 days with my baby brother's family
1 ticket for driving--unbeknownst to me--my brother's car without the lights on
10 full minutes of a child screaming while the fucking cop wrote out the ticket
1 UCLA game enjoyed with my brother and his son
13 college basketball games watched all month
4 games rooting loudly for Love & Co.
30 days dreading the start of baseball season, and my impending coronary
1 unexpected phone call from an ex
12 minutes of utterly shocked silence on my end
1 apology I still can't quite accept
2 family birthdays
49 years combined between them
4 new restaurants checked out with La Ria
1 very disappointing sushi dinner
3 movies enjoyed
4 days given to rescue a management project
17 days wasted on it by someone else
3 days taken to complete it
31 days spent kicking all sorts of ass

Fuck the Boys of Summer

I hate baseball. I really do. It's boring as all hell.

But I really, honestly hate the Dodgers. Everytime Tommy Lasorda gets on tv talking about bleeding Dodger blue, I want to sock the old man in the balls. Shut up, Tommy!

But today really reminded me just how much I despise the Dodgers, their fans, and the assholes who put the stadium in the least accessible place on the planet--which also just so happens to be smack in the middle of my ride home.

And don't even get me started on what the city and developers did to Chavez Ravine in order to get their stupid stadium built. It, along with what happened to the Little Tokyo around WWII, is one of the saddest periods of LA history. Commerce over human lives: hurrah.

Back to my problems. My commute, in both directions, is about 30 minutes. This morning, as all the asshole fans were lining up at the gates (20 cars deep at 9 am) and setting up their barbeque pits for the home opener, it took nearly 45 minutes to get to work. I was furious. And I know all the back roads and secret streets that can normally get someone around that mess. Even that didn't help. Fucking baseball.

Then there was the commute home. I left my office at 5:02. It took 16 minutes to move 4 blocks and I wasn't even near the stadium yet.

I'll spare you the vehement profanities I screamed for the entire ride home, mostly at the drunk assholes who couldn't decide which lane to drive in while their stupid blue flags hung out the windows. Dodgers fans are similar to Raiders fans. They're both characterized by fat, stupid gangbanger wannabes. But I'll take a Raiders fan over a Dodger fan anyday, mostly because Oakland's traffic problems are not my problems.

I finally got home some time around 5:56. Pissed and hating baseball more than ever. And it's just going to get worse. The night games start at 7 pm, which just means hell for me. Expect a VERY cranky GPG on the nights they play at home. I could take a huge detour by heading west and then north into Los Feliz and just avoiding that area completely, but that won't gain me anything but NOT having to stare at stupid asshole fans while my clutch gets an unnecessary workout.

I'm rooting for the Angels. Mostly because they wear red and are nowhere near me, my house, or my office. Fucking baseball.

Did I mention I hate baseball?

Photoblogging 2.10.08

First of all, a belated happy birthday to one of our favorite bloggers, Mr. H. Wood! Everyone is hitting 30 these days. It's an epidemic.

Next, a break from the collaboration for a quick look at how Los Angeles looks in the winter. It's a rather shitty picture, but it proves that we do indeed get snowed on down here in the land o' sunshine and fake tans. Taken from the residential area below Chavez Ravine, where the boys of summer will soon be wreaking havoc on my weekday commute. Man, I hate baseball.

It's weird that on Thursday I was wearing a turtleneck and freezing my ass off, and then Friday it shot up to nearly 80 degrees at my place. Summer has come early once again. But at least there's snow, for now, in the local mountains.