And the Lights Go Down

All good things come to an end. This has been an interesting little experiment here at Exxy HQ, filled with some good memories. I've gotten to be sassy, bitchy, just plain mean. It was fun! I've also shared drinks and snail mail with some fantastic people because of my little pink corner of the internet.

Now, it's time for something different. Naked prose maybe.

To everyone who stuck around for the last few years, thanks. The adventure will continue, albeit in a completely different form. You can find me just about anywhere.

You'll just have to know where to look.

Good luck.

Hi There

It's been so long since I logged into blogger, that I forgot my password. How great is that?

I would grace you with Dear John letters, but the one person who would be most amused is in the middle of law school finals. Also, I'm not angry at anyone but Warrick Dunn right now.

And that's all I've got.

Where is Smokey the Bear?

I think I finally found a template I'm happy with, but editing the header has proven to be more difficult than necessary. So that will have to wait.

In other news, California is on fire again. It seems to get worse and worse every year. I went out to Santa Monica last night to party with other Bruins and watch us finally win one. The air out there is usually much cleaner, given its proximity to the ocean. Not so much last night. It was just as bad as where I live, which is much too close for comfort to one of the fires.

But I was out, and after a full 5 days chained to my bed because of a cold, it was nice to be anywhere but home. I kept my ratio of water to bourbon at a tolerable 52:1. That's right, I had 2 glasses of spirits over 5 hours and 104 glasses of water in between. So why do I still feel like hell?

Oh right, the world is on fire. Well then, carry on.

Mad Blogs

I've spent the last 3 days sick in bed. And if all goes well, I can expect to spend the next 2 there as well. I tried leaving the house this morning to satisfy my unholy craving for a McDonald's sausage biscuit with cheese (no egg). But on the way back home, I realized my chest cold was keeping my brain from getting enough oxygen, and I was more dangerous than a drunk behind the wheel.

I also didn't remember quite how to get home. That kind of disorientation should be reserved for only the greatest spirits and narcotics, not for the elephant sitting on my chest.

But I digress.

Instead of telling you all this delightful story, I was simply going to give you a canned post generated by some crazy Aussies. (Not this one, but we like him lots too.) So here you go:

Crikey! I just climbed out from under my rock and realised I have not updated this since you last visited... You would not believe it only hurts when I laugh. My bad..

I am swilling chardonnay with setting fire to people wearing Crocs, being distracted by the shiny, just generally being a pain to anyone unfortunate to cross my path, my day is long and tiring from the light through yonder window breaks to I run out of alcohol. I am avoiding recapture. deal with it.

I won't promise anything to you but think of me as I battle mine enemies. What? What do you mean you don't believe me?

Have your own fun at The Lazy Bloggers Post Generator.

If You're Reading This...

I've toyed seriously with the idea of simply shutting this blog down. You might notice the utter lack of updates lately, even the dependable monthly installment of By the Numbers.  Blogs are like plants and small pets: they take care and feeding or they simply shrivel up and die. And frankly, I've never been good at plants or pets.

But then I other people's blogs and find inspiration again. Case in point: Los Angelista. I follow her on Twitter, where I live a life of greater transparency than ever displayed here. I don't know why that is. But I'm kind of falling out of love with the anonymity. Or maybe it's just the blog template.

So, if you're still around, I'll be here periodically too. And maybe I'll redecorate while I'm at it.

Overheard in the Family #22

In this family, we love our deli meats. And we notice when one is missing.

GPG: Dad, did you buy prosciutto?

Dad: Oh, no.

GPG: Why not?

Dad: I forgot.

GPG: How could you forget that one? It's like forgetting to pick up your children!

Dad: Well, that happens too.

Well, I Suck

To make this my least active blogging month ever, I've given you a grand total of now 7 new posts. Shameful.

But by the time I actually sit down to write, all the words are gone. I could give you a rundown of my recent tweets, but that's kind of my last resort.

So...what are you up to?

Another New Read

Social networking will more than likely get you in trouble. And we all know I'm all for trouble.

Which is why you should read the stuff Mutha Mae puts out. One day, she's going to be famous and I can take credit for introducing her to you. I met her while networking socially, via this really cool device called the internetses. You should try it.

Plus she has twins from two different countries. How awesome is that? Even the Krazy Mommy, who is pretty rad in her own right, can't say her twins are from different countries. Or uteri, for that matter.

Enjoy!

Overheard in the Family #21

The other night, my baby brother had to take his fancy-pants iPhone to get fixed. Baby Aladdin had stuck it in his mouth at some point, rendering it useless. On our way there, he felt the need to confess something:

Baby Brother: You're probably going to blog about what I'm about to tell you.

GPG: Why?

BB: The other night, I was bored. So I downloaded a trial version of World of Warcraft.

GPG: Oh dear god. You're such a dork.

BB: I just wanted to see what it was about.

GPG: DORK. And yeah, I'm totally blogging about that.

He knows me so well.

So, I Like Football

According to Wordle, anyway.

Tracing the Days and Nights

I forgot about how I use this blog as a time capsule. And the lack of blogging for the last few weeks might come back to bite me in the ass if I don't go burying nuggets of personal historical info in it and soon.

What's been going on? Well it turns out I own a dress that possesses magical powers. I don't know what it is about it, but every time I wear it, people go out of their way to compliment me. Like, emphatically. It's very...nice.

So when I thought I might run into someone from over the summer, I figured there would be no harm in wearing it. Nope, no harm. None. Not for the entire cocktail reception. Not on the corner outside the bar. Not in his car. And especially not from his office on the 19th floor of a downtown high rise. Overlooking the city. At night.

I'm clearly using my powers for good. It's delicious.

September By the Numbers

So have you all been reading my baby brother's blog? Because you should. He does crazy things like update regularly. Mostly on the hilarious hijinx that take place in the world of stupid people. Fun stuff.

Me, I've been too busy for your entertainment, and I'm not sure that's going to change anytime soon. Apologies all around, but such is life. For now:

1 missed Greek Festival
75 stories climb
0 pain endured after
1 very surprised, but apparently in-shape, GPG
6 songs by our favorite certain man
1 happy song he prefaced by quoting his favorite GPG
2 consecutive dates that held promise, then didn't
6 uncomfortable hours spent on the world's worst date
1 shot of absinthe
1 promise never to touch that crap again
2 fantasy football games won
3 fantasy football games lost
1 fantastic UCLA football comeback against the almighty SEC
3 consequent losses
3 days spent networking in Tucson
100 attendees
15 of us delayed at the airport
2 football games watched together
3 hours late getting home
1 tour of Staples Center
2 minutes sitting on the Kings bench
10 minutes hanging out in the Clippers locker room
1 picture taken of me crouching in Chris Kamen's locker
100 women met at the Wealthy Bag Lady event
2 of them encountered again that evening at The Kress
3 drinks comped at the Viceroy
35 year old scotch
65 dollars for the privilege
2 charity events in one evening
6 cocktail parties
2 mandated by work

Timeout

News: today I became an exempt employee. Yay?

Tomorrow I work a 12 hour day. No yay.

The month by the numbers will be, consequently, delayed.

I Still Love Donuts!

And I refuse to apologize for it.

Find me on Twitter if you want to know how I celebrated La Ria's birthday by wearing the big girl lipstick.

Happy birthday, Ria!!!

Delectable Treats

Very soon, I'm going to start documenting the hijinx that have ensued from the Dating 2.0 experiment.  Like how I ended up on a date with an angry gay man.

I do NOT recommend it.

But till then, I have a new love to tell you about: crumb doughnuts.  They're my new guilty pleasure.  I cannot get enough of them.  And they give me heartburn, but I don't care because they're so damn good.

For conquering the US Bank Tower on Friday, my parents bought me a box.  We had them for dinner.  They pair perfectly with a little rosé.  I'm going to have one for breakfast tomorrow.  And there's nothing you can do to stop me!

Mmm, doughnuts.

Woo!

My baby brother has a new identity.  He's The Nameless One at The Chronicles of WTF.  Yay!!!

Expect to read a lot about people who can't spell.  It's just what makes the grammar nazis in all of us cringe in horror.  Exciting!

And now I must go to sleep because tomorrow I am climbing the tallest building in America west of the Mississisppi.

Wish me luck.  And go read my baby brother's blog.

Overheard in the Family #20

My brother came to visit last weekend.  Over dinner one night, my mom was trying to feed Baby Aladdin, who can be a little bit of a pain in the ass at dinner time:

Dad: Hey, don't you want to eat your rice? *acts like a gorilla*

Baby Aladdin laughed and then asked for more green beans.

Baby Aladdin: Beeeees!

To continue entertaining him, my father started acting like Frankenstein while my baby brother gorged his ass on donut holes.

Later on, my baby brother played basketball with a huge beach ball and pretended he was any good at it. 

GPG: You're retarded.  *gets hit with a ball*

Angry Little Men

My third cocktail party of the week was held at the Elevate Lounge, 21 floors above downtown.  Despite my intention to lay off drinking until next week's Stair Climb, there was an open bar.  But it wasn't until I stood there talking about scotch with a client that I absolutely had to have some.  And damn, was it good.

It also completely squelched my fatigue.  I've been feeling like hell lately.  Maybe because I was at THREE parties in the last 7 days.  All work-related.  My life is hard.

One glass of scotch, 5 glasses of water.  One of which the bartender accidently spilled on me.  Thank god I wasn't wearing white.  Then we started making jokes about getting wet.  It was funny.  He's a good bartender.  Except for the "accidental" dropsies.

I'd go back to if the valet wasn't such an jerk.  Look, I can park my own car.  And I usually will, unless there is absolutely no parking around.  But the entrance to the club's building is down an alley, across from an empty parking structure.  You think I can't find my own space 20 feet from the door?  Why should I have to pay someone 7 bucks to do it for me?  Unfortunately, the answer is yes.  They won't let you self-park.  And the guy is always rude to me.  So I refuse to tip him.  It almost makes me never want to go back.

It's really too bad.  Because that bartender was really cool.

Trannies, Trannies EVERYWHERE

I was only half-joking about the tranny sitting next to me at the airport.  She could have very well been a woman.

Just an not attractive one.

I was definitely not joking about the tranny at lunch today.  She was sitting at the table directly across from me.  Dressed as a woman with a 5 o'clock shadow.  It was NOT pretty. 

The story went out via Twitter.  Find me there when I'm not here.  Which is pretty often these days.

The real question is why am I suddenly seeing she-males everywhere?  It's like they're coming out in droves!  So eenteresting.

Back at the Ranch

The checklist before the weekend:
1. New boy earning further dating adventures and, by extenstion, a nickname

2. Find job leads at the conference

Things I learned during my weekend in Tucson:
1. Drinking is a very important part of networking.  Because when under the influence of Lagavulin 16, you will agree to serve on committees that will eat up all your valuable and precious little free time.  And said committees will not only greatly enhance your resume, they will also put you in closer contact with the perfect people to help steer your career.

2. The boys are all gay, and you will end up watching football with women.  All of who individually know more about it than all the boys combined.

3. A flight delay means more time to watch football with said women, all of whom are invaluable career resources.

4. Football is also a very important part of networking.

So while the trip was exceptionally successful, the boy has not yet earned himself a nickname.  But that's more his problem than mine.