Drowning in Male Musk

I despise scented body products. I don't want to smell like fruit or flowers, I just want to smell clean. So I go out of my way to buy unscented deodorant, body wash and lotion--or they're at least as unfragrant as possible.

But I ran out of my standard Olay Quench, so I tapped into a couple products I received for my birthday. Obviously they were from people that don't know me very well, otherwise why the hell would you give me stuff that smells like a goddamn flower garden?

Anyway, I didn't have much of a choice today. I opted for the Japanese Cherry Blossom lotion. It comes in a pretty red tube, at least.

Guess what? It doesn't smell like cherries or flowers. It smells like aftershave. For men. A cheap one at that.

I smella like a man. (Whoever can guess which Mad TV character I'm trying to channel here wins a million bucks. Not really.)

This is more irritating than that sour guava/grapefruit combo softsoap has.

It's gross.